Ramones: Rocket to Russia

Rocket to Russia

Best song: We’re A Happy Family

Worst song: I Don’t Care

Overall grade: 5

The Ramones release their first album for the third time, and yet if I was to listen to these albums not knowing which came first and which were just re-treading old ground, I think I’d call this one out as the best of the three. That makes sense, I suppose – if you keep practicing writing the same style of song, you’re bound to improve. There’s also arguably the biggest number of absolute classics on this album (not Blitzkrieg Bop though, sadface) which might be a coincidence or it might show that they’re getting better at judging which of their songs are likely to be popular with their fans.

The first of these future favourites is ‘Cretin Hop’, the most blatantly derivative song here. But be honest with me now – in your heart, which would you enjoy more: a rewrite of the band’s greatest song or a new song that’s kinda mediocre? After all, the Ramones are all about enjoyment. You’re not supposed to listen to them and think ‘That’s an interesting chord progression I’ve never heard before’ or ‘Wow, that lyric really makes me think!’ If you’re sitting still while you listen rather than shaking your head around like a crazy person, you’re doing it wrong. So I think ‘Cretin Hop’ is great because it gets that uncontrollable physical reaction from me right at the beginning of the album.

‘Rockaway Beach’ is the result of the little-known late 70s collaboration between the Beach Boys and the Sex Pistols. What? That never happened? Well, you could have fooled me because that’s exactly what this song is, a bunch of nice harmonies combined with super-fast loud guitars. Then there’s ‘Sheena Is A Punk Rocker’, all power chords and that instantly recognisable singalong chorus.

The one that just edges out the best song competition is ‘We’re A Happy Family’. Although musically the Ramones are in about the same place they were two years ago, lyrically they’ve come on a lot, and this song has a great set of words to go along with it. Another punch comes in the form of the written-to-shock ‘Teenage Lobotomy’: I can’t imagine another band trying to rhyme ‘tell ‘em’ with ‘cerebellum’. That, along with the cool drum opening and the repeated yelling of ‘lobotomy!’ means the song includes everything that made early-period Ramones great.

Two cover songs make an appearance here, and one of them actually achieves classic status too. It’s obvious which one – the great version of ‘Do You Wanna Dance?’! No, I’m kidding (although that IS a good cover too), it’s ‘Surfin’ Bird’ of course. It might be the most annoying song ever written, it might be the only ever song to be based off a radio jingle rather than the other way around, and it’s definitely the perfect song for this band. It reminds me of an excitable kid: gets on your nerves, tiring to be around, yet deep down you can’t help but like it.

There’s a little bit of filler on this album, but overall less than on its predecessors, so I can listen all the way through without getting tempted to tune out. ‘I Don’t Care’ is pretty stupid – it essentially negates my earlier comment about the band getting better at writing lyrics, but it’s very short and precedes 3 awesome songs, so I’ll tolerate it. ‘I Can’t Give You Anything’ is another low point. Not awful, but it doesn’t have the attitude and energy that it should coming from these guys. But there are a couple of songs that break the super-fast, loud mould of the highlights I’ve mentioned and make it work well – specifically ‘Here Today Gone Tomorrow’ and ‘Ramona’, a pair of more sincere love songs that don’t come across as contrived.

The part of my brain that values originality is yelling at me to dock this album points, but there’s so many undeniably great songs here that I can’t manage it. Get this one before Leave Home and even before the debut, so long as you’ve listened to… oh, you know what I’m going to say.